Wednesday, April 4, 2012

The Birth (the LONG version)

Axel Peterson Stratford
2.27.2012 @ 8:15 am

8 lbs 3 oz
21 inches

I was ready to give birth to this little guy when I was only half way through my pregnancy. I was uncomfortable, tired, and couldn't sleep, which made for a nasty cycle of sleep deprivation and discomfort. I was sure I was going to have him early, but scared I would get used to the idea and he'd end up coming two weeks late and I'd spend a month expecting him any day. Calder was in Dubai a month before Axel's due date and I was sure I was going to go into labor while he was away. Nerves seem to play a big role in how I interpret every movement or cramp during pregnancy and every time Calder was flying on a trip or even away in Salt Lake for the day I thought I was starting early labor. By about 38 weeks, I started leaving work early, and by Thursday February 23rd, I called in early and decided to work from home because I didn't think I was up for another drive in the car or day at the desk. At 38.5 weeks, on Thursday I started having regular contractions in the evening that subsided by about midnight. This continued in the same pattern every evening, but through the night and the following day I was fine. Friday night was girls night out with Janna and Jill and Jill said she thought I was going to have the baby soon--coming from a doctor/mother of three I took her seriously. On Sunday, the contractions started in the morning. Not regular or strong, but it was the first day I had them start in the morning. I knew it wouldn't be long until it happened. I skipped church and tried to nap--fearing another long labor I knew I needed rest. By about 3:30 pm the contractions started to come pretty regularly, about 15 minutes apart. This kept up and by about 5:00 pm my mom called and I told her I was in early labor--not sure how long it would be, but if she wanted to be here, she better be ready to come. Stella went home with the Child's after church (bless them) and Hilma and Dave came by our house around 6:00, picked up her carseat and bag of clothes, and then picked up Stella so she could sleep at their house. I sent the midwife a text and told her I hoped she didn't have big plans for the Academy Awards, because this baby might be interrupting them. Turns out the only thing he interrupted was our sleep. My mom arrived about 8:00 pm and the house clean, bags packed, Beto's in the belly (not many food options in the valley on a Sunday night), and Stella at the grandparents, we twiddled our thumbs sitting around the kitchen counter until deciding the little guy wasn't going to make his appearance quite yet and tried to catch some zzz's. I didn't ever fall asleep. I kept track of the ebb and flow of contractions with the lap feature on my iphone's stopwatch. What did we do before smartphones? After going to bed the contractions slowed for a bit, but eventually got closer together and stronger. By about 3:30 am I called Danielle and told her that I thought we were close. I was having pretty uncomfortable contractions every four minutes or so. She recommended trying the tub to see if the discomfort would subside a bit and to call her when they got too painful. I managed another 45 minutes or so in the warm bath, but then decided the contractions were getting worse, even in the tub and let her know we were heading to the hospital. She was groggy at 4:30 and said she would call the hospital and have the nurses get us set up and she would be in eventually. I kept wondering on the way to the hospital if it really was time. After having such a long labor with Stella and taking so long to dialate I was worried that I could arrive feeling ready to push but only being a one. Luckily they checked me and I was a four. whew. And it was only 15 minutes home, much better than the trek down Provo canyon. The Park City hospital was great. We arrived through the emergency room, the only entrance open through the night. I managed to walk up to labor and delivery and the nurse greeted us saying she was expecting us. One of her first questions was, do you want to stay in your regular clothes, or do you want a robe? Not your typically expected hospital question. Sara helped me get and IV between contractions (stubborn veins that I have she needed someone else to help) and got a monitor on my belly (had to get a 20 minutes strip but then I got to move around and just have the hand held monitor). I was pretty uncomfortable by then and was having flashbacks to Stella's birth when I remember gripping the sides of the hospital bed and curling over with every contraction. I figured that this time around it was going to be so much easier. I knew what to expect and Stella had paved the way for Axel's and my body knew what to do. I kept waiting for Danielle to show up, but she was taking her time, I'm sure because she had a full day ahead of her at the clinic and figured I would be there for awhile. After about and hour I started to get a little push urge at the end of each contraction. I had felt this for hours with Stella and kept fighting the urge to push, figuring it wasn't time yet. But in retrospect with her birth, if I had followed those pushing urges I might have helped the process of my water breaking along and saved a day or so of sleepless, endless pressure waves. This time I knew better. I was on my hand and knees on the bed, saying "peace, peace, peace..." to myself through a contraction and when the push urge came, I pushed and felt the release as my water flooded the bed. Whew. I knew this meant we were really getting somewhere. And now the pushing urges were really starting to come. I asked the nurse to check my dilatation again and she was hesitant. I asked her when Danielle was coming--if she was on her way. I told her that I didn't think it would be long, and that with my daughter it was only a couple of hours from my water breaking until she made her appearance. And this time might be quicker. I didn't think she was grasping the urgency of the situation. She said to tell her when I started to get the urge to push. "Now", I said, "I want to push now." That made her scramble. She started setting up the room for delivery, and got someone to check on Danielle. While I was coping with strengthening contractions and wondering if the nurse would have to catch this baby, Danielle showed up. She checked me and said I was a nine (how are they so sure? The finger stretch always seems a bit arbitrary to me) and that there was just a little bit of cervix left on one side. She was very calm and though I was bummed she had missed the laboring part, was glad she was there for delivery. She helped me move to the bathroom and sit on the toilet where I had several contractions. This helped open things up a bit and was an easy way to collect all the messy stuff (spare you gross details). I asked how I was supposed to know when the baby was coming out and she said I would know. I told her I didn't know, but hoped he wouldn't be coming out into the toilet. She moved me out into the room and onto the birthing stool. The stool is really more of a contorted metal chair frame, and much less comfortable than it sounds. I figured this was it, he would be coming now. But push as I might, all I could seem to push out was the remnants of my bowels (how could anything be left in there still?) I kept wanting to push with my legs and Danielle kept saying push from my core. Apparently I don't have much of a core because it wasn't making much progress. I don't remember exactly when it happened, but at some point she confirmed he was posterior. Oh great. Another one of those. She didn't try to manually turn him, but thought he might turn on his own on the way out. Not a chance. I kept pushing on the stool but felt increasingly frustrated and hopeless, that this little guy was never coming out. I would make it through an intense contraction feeling frazzled and frantic and look up and Danielle was just sitting there, calmly smiling, and saying "good job". Calder was whispering you can do it and rubbing my shoulders and my mom was quietly reassuring. I started to think it wasn't happening. Finally Danielle said, lets try lying on your side on the bed. This sounded great at first, because I felt comfortable curled in a ball on my side. But as I stood up to hobble to the bed I realized that I was trying to walk (and hop on the bed) with a head between my legs. I could waddle at best. Once I was up on the bed on my side (not sure how this even happened but I must have had assistance) I thought I would relax, but quickly realized I couldn't put my top leg down. Again, there was a head in the way. So now I was up on the bed with my leg in the air, tired, in pain, and couldn't even put my leg down. I can't hold my leg up, I need help. Between Calder, my mom, Danielle and the nurse (the shift change happened somewhere about and hour back and Sara was replaced  by Tawnya, our new nurse), they managed to support my leg enough to avoid a charlie horse and get me through the big push. I don't know how it happened, or what made the final difference, or if it was just the result of slow steady progress, but finally he moved enough that I heard the blessed words, "one more push" and then with the big pop, suctions, and release, he slid out. I have never felt so relieved. They put him up on my belly and he started rearing his head. Strong little buggar. He had been getting plenty of exercise inutero and I had been the recipient of his regular routine. He was cute, and it was again such a crazy experience to have this parasite that had been living in me and off me for so many months, finally take a human form in my eyes and be lying on my chest. wow. It was 8:15. A slight tug got the placenta out, and Calder finally cut the cord. Danielle stitched me up (she said I tore along the same lines as Stella). I was a swollen mess and it took her some time to patch me together (again, spare you gory details, but suffice to say sitting was difficult for a good week). The baby never left our room, but was weighed, measured, and eventually got a little bath all in our little room. It was great. I never felt like I was fighting the medical establishment, and everyone was supportive of the whole process. We had Sara return that night at the shift change during the storm, and Tawnya came back the next day. Small hospitals are great. Such good service, such a cozy environment, not the baby factory of Utah Valley. Besides Calder getting food poisoning from the hospital cafeteria from our "celebration meal" (he thinks it was the cheesecake) everything went well. The night blanketed the world with snow, and every few hours I breathed a sigh of relief. So glad that is over! So glad that is over, was the phrase that kept passing through my mind. So glad I am not pregnant, so glad the labor is over, so glad he is here safely.

Second child's first few moments inn life and we are already slacking in the picture department
Stella adores little Axel
This is me, looking awesome in hospital garb, and eeling relieved.