25 Hours

Well, we made it to Bali. And miraculously back again. I thought I would break up the trip a bit, to get a better sense of how it unfolded for us. To document phase one of the epic journey: Getting there:

We left on a Tuesday night after work and we flew on four different planes before arriving in the wee hours of Friday morning. Even accounting for the 14 hour time change, that is a long time to be on the road. We had a late night flight to Kansas City (2 + hours). After a few lousy hours of sleep in a cheap hotel we flew to Detroit (2 + hours). From there we had a direct (16 + hour) flight all the way to Hong Kong. We enjoyed extra rows of seats (never happens anymore) and extra attention from the flight attendants who were wooed by the kids. Stella was in heaven with a season of Caillou and Dora. Even with a bout of puking (maybe from all the milk, cookies, and ice cream?) during the night we survived. We were lucky and ran through the airport (after a Cathay ticket agent took pity on us with two small children bleary eyed at 1am and gave us tickets without making us leave and come back through security). And then it was a quick 5 hour flight to Bali. Non-revving is never easy. Traveling internationally with children without a reserved ticket is pretty crazy. But we did it.

fresh travelers in the SLC parking lot

first leg: SLC to MCI

the pack mule checking-in in DTW

DTW to HKG: two rows, leg room, good TV

bleary eyed in HKG at 1am

YES! WE MADE IT! SO relieved to be on the last flight

HKG to Bali. This pretty much sums up our travel experience

Bali, here we come...eventually!

Ok, we're doing it. heading out tonight (Tuesday) on an epic journey. The itinerary goes something like this : SLC, MCI, DTW, HKG, DPS. I kind of think we might be little crazy. Standby travel half way around the world with two kids. We leave tonight for Kansas City, sleep for about 4 hours and then head to Detroit. Wait at the airport for five hours and leave for Hong Kong. Then hopefully catch a connecting flight that is scheduled to leave 1.5 hours after our arrival. If it pans out we'll be in Bali Friday at 1am. Otherwise we will GET to spend the day in Hong Kong. and try again the next night. I keep thinking of travel like I think of birth/labor. Not dwelling on it ahead of time and focusing on the fact that it is a finite period of time, that no matter what happens, it will end soon.

We will spend a week with the Simis family on their sailboat, and then stay in a house in Bali for a week. Once we make it and everyone adjusts to the 14 hour time change we should have a great time. And then the next day we'll head home. We are really excited! Send good vibes our way. We could use it! 

Nana

Stella has four grandmas. Grandma, Ma, Oma, and Nana. What a lucky girl. She loves them all and knows them well. She used to spend one day a week with Nana and Ma. She misses Nana now that she doesn't see her as often. This morning we stopped in for an early visit on our way to work and the babysitters and surprised Nana who was just getting out of bed. But don't worry, she assured us she usually is up earlier :) Axel was his usual charming, smiling self, and Stella gave really good hugs and ran around to all of her usual corners and toys. She loves to be center of attention and is practicing her cheesy smile. Axel is cutting teeth and loving that spoon. I love versatile baby toys. And on another note, Axel can now roll over. Congratulations, just in time for our trip to Bali. We're excited he is getting mobile, but really, couldn't you have waited another week?

Best Baby Ever

Little Axel has to be the best baby ever. He sleeps through the night (since he was 2 months old). He smiles all the time. He doesn't talk back or throw tantrums. He really is a dream.

The Paci

My kids suck. They love to suck. And as such, the paci, binky, soother has become a part of daily life for us. Until she turned two Stella had hers with her all the time. She was never particular about what brand, the color, or shape of the nipple, as long as she had something in her mouth she was happy. After she turned two she cut back to sleepy time pacis (naps and bedtime) and when she was sick or hurt--it was her comfort. But it was still an integral part of her daily activities. She eventually got smart to the sleep thing and suddenly would be tired/sleepy/ready for bed at various times throughout the day--when she really wanted a little comfort and a good suck. 

I knew there were pros and cons of having a kid with a binky. Yes it was nice to have something to pacify them. The plug, I have heard it called. An easy way to keep a kid quiet. But the down side is that at some point, unless you want a thumb sucking teenager, and large orthodontic bills you have to ween them off eventually. 

For a year I kept thinking that we would do it. There was always something coming up, she was getting sick, getting over being sick, getting teeth, about to travel, moving to a new place, etc. I had heard the stories: snip a little off the nipple every day for a few days, have the paci fairy come and exchange the paci for a toy, take the paci to a store and "buy" a toy with it. The list goes on. But I settled on buying the paci at the store. By the time we were getting rid of it, Stella was much to old to fool. I knew she had to be on board, or it would never work and I figured if it were her idea we could get through it. I prepped her for a couple of months with stories about a little girl (strangely similar to herself) who noticed that none of the other big kids had pacis so she asked her mom who told her that one day she would be ready to be a big girl and wouldn't need her paci any more. When that day came, she took her paci to the toy store and picked out a fun new toy (in the story this varied from a coveted doll, to a Hello Kitty lego set, to sporting equipment--depending on the day) and paid for it with her paci. In the story, the little girl is really sad for a couple of days after giving up her paci. It is hard for her to go to bed at night, but her mom lies down by her and she snuggles with her blankie and thinks about her new present and life as a big girl, and by the third night she goes right to sleep and doesn't need her paci anymore.

One day as we were driving home from the farm and Stella asked for her paci (as she frequently did in the car) and I told her that pretty soon she was going to be like the girl in the story and not need her paci. "I'm ready mom" was her unexpected reply. "I am ready to get rid of my paci". And as we drove she insisted. I reminded her that once she gave it away she couldn't get it back, and she said she was ready. She had told me this once before but at the time I wasn't ready. I knew it was bound to be a challenging few days/weeks/years? and hadn't wanted to take the plunge. But as time had proven, there was never an ideal window of opportunity, and now seemed as good a time as any. We called Calder to tell him the good news, and that we would be stopping at a toy store on the way home, and somehow he asked if she had thrown the paci out the window (this wasn't part of the regular story). Well Stella thought that was a great idea and kept telling me that she wanted to throw it out the window. So I took a deep breath, told Calder to toss out the paci's at home, and rolled down the window. In an instant it was gone. Cold turkey.

Like the girl in the story, Stella had a hard time for a couple of nights and asked for her paci a lot. We bought her a Snow White lego set and encouraged her to tell people she was a big girl now. She proudly told the cashier at the toy store, the folks walking by in the parking lot, and everyone else we ran into for the next week or so. "I threw my paci out the window" she would say. Proud of her decision and rite of passage into big girlhood.

But when it was time for bed, or in the napless late afternoon her true self came out. I'm not ready to be a big girl. She said frequently. I miss I paci. I need my paci. Calder said she was like an addict who couldn't get a fix. But by the third night she seemed ok. We were staying up late, watching movies and getting her really tired before trying to get her down for the night. She refused to have her blankie. I think it just served as another reminder about her loss. Things were going ok for about a week and a half and then she had a few nights of meltdowns. I'm not ready to be a big girl. I need my paci. I needed her paci at 1am driving around Midway trying to get her to fall asleep. But we held out. And things are slowly getting better. Its been a month and she doesn't talk about it much anymore, but bedtime/falling asleep is still a little rocky. She hasn't fallen asleep before 10 since she threw the paci out the window, but keep your fingers crossed for us that we'll all survive.

Happy Basal Cell Birthday!

Warning: Not for the weak of stomach

In January Calder ran into David Meyers at the airport, an old Timpview buddy who is now a dermatologist in Lindon. Calder knew he needed some basal cell cancer removed from his face and figured it would be great to get it taken care of while he was already taking time off after Axel's birth. Lets just say March was a busy month for us. Axel was born at the end of February. A week later Stella broke her arm. Later that week, on his 35th birthday (Happy Birthday), Calder had the surgery (a few days after Stella broke her arm, and a day before she got her first cast). 

His surgery ended up being more invasive than we expected and forget a birthday party, Calder was out of commission for a good week. A week and a half after giving birth I was in the best shape of the lot of us. I held up pretty well, minus one major (minor) breakdown when Calder was laid up in bed, I'd been up multiple time with Axel during the night (he was just over a week old, after all) and Stella came running into my bedroom holding her new pink cast in her hand, "look mom, it came off" (amazing how quickly children master the passive voice.) 

Knowing that I had to go back to the hospital/clinic with a newborn and a broken-armed toddler (who now knew what a cast was) by myself while my disfigured husband lay swollen and depressed in bed pushed me to the edge of my postpartum cliff and tears were shed. But we all recovered in the end. Dr Meyers did an impressive job on Calder's face. And now, unless you are up close you hardly notice the scar. But it was a bit dramatic at first--this the play by play that I got from the doctors office while rocking a newborn with my foot and coaxing a toddler into a cast:

The Cast (s)

Parent fail #981 (ok, that is an estimate because I lost track a long time ago) Stella broke her arm on a Saturday and we didn’t take her to the doctor until Thursday. Stella was running around upstairs in our house and tripped and fell. She landed on it just the right way and it broke. With my mothers ears I could tell the cry when she landed meant something was really wrong, but there was no obvious signs of the break. It was about 7pm and she fell asleep in my arms. We had friends over that night, changed her into jammies and got her in bed but except for crying out in the night, she didn't wake up until morning. I was expecting to take her to the ER on Sunday morning but she came running into our room in the morning, clear-eyed and smiling so we waited. 

That afternoon she left for the farm with Ma and Pa (Pa hadn’t yet learned that you have to be serious with offers). They kept looking for signs of problems with her arm, but aside from crying out at night she seemed fine. Wednesday we met up in Provo to recover Stella and take Calder to a doctors appointment (I’ll blog about that later). Shea had offered to watch Stella for a few hours and an ecstatic Stella ran across the lawn and tripped on the two step porch leading into the Astle’s house.  It took her an hour to recover in my arms (juggling a 1 ½ week old and a distraught toddler is so fun) and I knew something was up.  Though she never held her arm, complained that it hurt, or stopped using it, I decided that I’d take her to the doctor in the morning, for my own peace of mind.   

Sure enough, the xray showed a buckle fracture in both bones! 

She got a pink cast, pulled it off the next day. Then she got a purple cast, followed by a green one. She was a great sport and the cast didn't slow her down much, though baths and a trip to Laguna Beach were a challenge of plastic bags and duct tape.  She still managed to play in the sand, ride her bike, and play dress-ups.

The Birth (the LONG version)

Axel Peterson Stratford

2.27.2012 @ 8:15 am

8 lbs 3 oz

21 inches

I was ready to give birth to this little guy when I was only half way through my pregnancy. I was uncomfortable, tired, and couldn't sleep, which made for a nasty cycle of sleep deprivation and discomfort. I was sure I was going to have him early, but scared I would get used to the idea and he'd end up coming two weeks late and I'd spend a month expecting him any day. Calder was in Dubai a month before Axel's due date and I was sure I was going to go into labor while he was away. Nerves seem to play a big role in how I interpret every movement or cramp during pregnancy and every time Calder was flying on a trip or even away in Salt Lake for the day I thought I was starting early labor. By about 38 weeks, I started leaving work early, and by Thursday February 23rd, I called in early and decided to work from home because I didn't think I was up for another drive in the car or day at the desk. At 38.5 weeks, on Thursday I started having regular contractions in the evening that subsided by about midnight. This continued in the same pattern every evening, but through the night and the following day I was fine. Friday night was girls night out with Janna and Jill and Jill said she thought I was going to have the baby soon--coming from a doctor/mother of three I took her seriously. On Sunday, the contractions started in the morning. Not regular or strong, but it was the first day I had them start in the morning. I knew it wouldn't be long until it happened. I skipped church and tried to nap--fearing another long labor I knew I needed rest. By about 3:30 pm the contractions started to come pretty regularly, about 15 minutes apart. This kept up and by about 5:00 pm my mom called and I told her I was in early labor--not sure how long it would be, but if she wanted to be here, she better be ready to come. Stella went home with the Child's after church (bless them) and Hilma and Dave came by our house around 6:00, picked up her carseat and bag of clothes, and then picked up Stella so she could sleep at their house. I sent the midwife a text and told her I hoped she didn't have big plans for the Academy Awards, because this baby might be interrupting them. Turns out the only thing he interrupted was our sleep. My mom arrived about 8:00 pm and the house clean, bags packed, Beto's in the belly (not many food options in the valley on a Sunday night), and Stella at the grandparents, we twiddled our thumbs sitting around the kitchen counter until deciding the little guy wasn't going to make his appearance quite yet and tried to catch some zzz's. I didn't ever fall asleep. I kept track of the ebb and flow of contractions with the lap feature on my iphone's stopwatch. What did we do before smartphones? After going to bed the contractions slowed for a bit, but eventually got closer together and stronger. By about 3:30 am I called Danielle and told her that I thought we were close. I was having pretty uncomfortable contractions every four minutes or so. She recommended trying the tub to see if the discomfort would subside a bit and to call her when they got too painful. I managed another 45 minutes or so in the warm bath, but then decided the contractions were getting worse, even in the tub and let her know we were heading to the hospital. She was groggy at 4:30 and said she would call the hospital and have the nurses get us set up and she would be in eventually. I kept wondering on the way to the hospital if it really was time. After having such a long labor with Stella and taking so long to dialate I was worried that I could arrive feeling ready to push but only being a one. Luckily they checked me and I was a four. whew. And it was only 15 minutes home, much better than the trek down Provo canyon. The Park City hospital was great. We arrived through the emergency room, the only entrance open through the night. I managed to walk up to labor and delivery and the nurse greeted us saying she was expecting us. One of her first questions was, do you want to stay in your regular clothes, or do you want a robe? Not your typically expected hospital question. Sara helped me get and IV between contractions (stubborn veins that I have she needed someone else to help) and got a monitor on my belly (had to get a 20 minutes strip but then I got to move around and just have the hand held monitor). I was pretty uncomfortable by then and was having flashbacks to Stella's birth when I remember gripping the sides of the hospital bed and curling over with every contraction. I figured that this time around it was going to be so much easier. I knew what to expect and Stella had paved the way for Axel's and my body knew what to do. I kept waiting for Danielle to show up, but she was taking her time, I'm sure because she had a full day ahead of her at the clinic and figured I would be there for awhile. After about and hour I started to get a little push urge at the end of each contraction. I had felt this for hours with Stella and kept fighting the urge to push, figuring it wasn't time yet. But in retrospect with her birth, if I had followed those pushing urges I might have helped the process of my water breaking along and saved a day or so of sleepless, endless pressure waves. This time I knew better. I was on my hand and knees on the bed, saying "peace, peace, peace..." to myself through a contraction and when the push urge came, I pushed and felt the release as my water flooded the bed. Whew. I knew this meant we were really getting somewhere. And now the pushing urges were really starting to come. I asked the nurse to check my dilatation again and she was hesitant. I asked her when Danielle was coming--if she was on her way. I told her that I didn't think it would be long, and that with my daughter it was only a couple of hours from my water breaking until she made her appearance. And this time might be quicker. I didn't think she was grasping the urgency of the situation. She said to tell her when I started to get the urge to push. "Now", I said, "I want to push now." That made her scramble. She started setting up the room for delivery, and got someone to check on Danielle. While I was coping with strengthening contractions and wondering if the nurse would have to catch this baby, Danielle showed up. She checked me and said I was a nine (how are they so sure? The finger stretch always seems a bit arbitrary to me) and that there was just a little bit of cervix left on one side. She was very calm and though I was bummed she had missed the laboring part, was glad she was there for delivery. She helped me move to the bathroom and sit on the toilet where I had several contractions. This helped open things up a bit and was an easy way to collect all the messy stuff (spare you gross details). I asked how I was supposed to know when the baby was coming out and she said I would know. I told her I didn't know, but hoped he wouldn't be coming out into the toilet. She moved me out into the room and onto the birthing stool. The stool is really more of a contorted metal chair frame, and much less comfortable than it sounds. I figured this was it, he would be coming now. But push as I might, all I could seem to push out was the remnants of my bowels (how could anything be left in there still?) I kept wanting to push with my legs and Danielle kept saying push from my core. Apparently I don't have much of a core because it wasn't making much progress. I don't remember exactly when it happened, but at some point she confirmed he was posterior. Oh great. Another one of those. She didn't try to manually turn him, but thought he might turn on his own on the way out. Not a chance. I kept pushing on the stool but felt increasingly frustrated and hopeless, that this little guy was never coming out. I would make it through an intense contraction feeling frazzled and frantic and look up and Danielle was just sitting there, calmly smiling, and saying "good job". Calder was whispering you can do it and rubbing my shoulders and my mom was quietly reassuring. I started to think it wasn't happening. Finally Danielle said, lets try lying on your side on the bed. This sounded great at first, because I felt comfortable curled in a ball on my side. But as I stood up to hobble to the bed I realized that I was trying to walk (and hop on the bed) with a head between my legs. I could waddle at best. Once I was up on the bed on my side (not sure how this even happened but I must have had assistance) I thought I would relax, but quickly realized I couldn't put my top leg down. Again, there was a head in the way. So now I was up on the bed with my leg in the air, tired, in pain, and couldn't even put my leg down. I can't hold my leg up, I need help. Between Calder, my mom, Danielle and the nurse (the shift change happened somewhere about and hour back and Sara was replaced  by Tawnya, our new nurse), they managed to support my leg enough to avoid a charlie horse and get me through the big push. I don't know how it happened, or what made the final difference, or if it was just the result of slow steady progress, but finally he moved enough that I heard the blessed words, "one more push" and then with the big pop, suctions, and release, he slid out. I have never felt so relieved. They put him up on my belly and he started rearing his head. Strong little buggar. He had been getting plenty of exercise inutero and I had been the recipient of his regular routine. He was cute, and it was again such a crazy experience to have this parasite that had been living in me and off me for so many months, finally take a human form in my eyes and be lying on my chest. wow. It was 8:15. A slight tug got the placenta out, and Calder finally cut the cord. Danielle stitched me up (she said I tore along the same lines as Stella). I was a swollen mess and it took her some time to patch me together (again, spare you gory details, but suffice to say sitting was difficult for a good week). The baby never left our room, but was weighed, measured, and eventually got a little bath all in our little room. It was great. I never felt like I was fighting the medical establishment, and everyone was supportive of the whole process. We had Sara return that night at the shift change during the storm, and Tawnya came back the next day. Small hospitals are great. Such good service, such a cozy environment, not the baby factory of Utah Valley. Besides Calder getting food poisoning from the hospital cafeteria from our "celebration meal" (he thinks it was the cheesecake) everything went well. The night blanketed the world with snow, and every few hours I breathed a sigh of relief. So glad that is over! So glad that is over, was the phrase that kept passing through my mind. So glad I am not pregnant, so glad the labor is over, so glad he is here safely.

Second child's first few moments inn life and we are already slacking in the picture department

Stella adores little Axel

This is me, looking awesome in hospital garb, and eeling relieved.

The Midway Stratfords captured on film

Once again Sally Stratford Deford is responsible for some beautiful documentation. I copied and pasted the pictures here. But you can see her original post here and you can see some great pictures of Stella here. I love having a real photographer in the family! What an awesome Christmas present. THANK YOU SALLY!